What I did not know then, was how the exhibits I saw in the Communist Party Museum that day would be precursors and hints to where the Lord was going to lead me in future visits.
When the tour was over the guide gave me a map with highlighted locations nearby, one of which stood out to me. It was Mao Zedong’s（毛泽东）former house. As I headed to find his house a five kilometer walk away, I felt the rush of oil pour down my head yet another two times. I realized I had not eaten breakfast or lunch, had no water and was quite famished, and still was quite limited in knowing how to obtain food. I knew I would want to head back to a more familiar place so I could fill my stomach, yet felt an even stronger an urge push me away from familiarity and toward the unknown destination of Mao’s old house.
It was a moment of clarity of mission, that was all too soon dashed by the disappointment of finding I arrived at Mao’s house an hour after the exhibit had closed for the afternoon. I would have to come back another day.
Earlier on this trip a friend emailed and helped me interpret one of my more fantastically colorful dreams, saying it was warning me to be particularly discerning regarding what I do. Friends would argue, and I would agree, that being discerning toward the tasks I take on is not one of my natural strong points. I knew this friend’s word was from the Lord. I made a list of “good things” that I planned to do in the near future, in order to carefully pray through what I needed to say “no” to, if any. After praying for the gift of discernment and after experiencing the events of today, I could only be grateful for this new physical sensation on my body which I have since come to identify as a tool for discernment.
On a day while with Rebecca who had been helping me further translate the Gospel for my English class, suddenly had a bright idea to introduce me to her dance teacher who she said, “was also a very sincere Christian.” “In fact,” she said, “she hosts a weekly meeting in her home!”
That night I met He Yan and her husband and was invited to attend my first house church in China.
Quite sure that this was God’s doing, I spent the next afternoon walking and familiarizing myself with a new part of Shanghai, allowing myself to get lost, and asking people for directions using my limited Chinese. I found the activity quite enjoyable. When it was time to meet my host, I found them at a designated place where they led me to their apartment where a group of about 25 mostly new Christians enjoyed a nine course meal that He Yan and her friend cooked. Most of the group spoke English and allowed me to share my story with them. I shared about my journey that led me to this place and teared up as I shared my grief over the violence and destruction the Japanese had caused upon Chinese land. Deeply touched, several reached out to me and gave me contact cards. I was also able to host the leaders in Los Angeles when they visited the following year.
During my last week in China I felt a surprisingly deep grief in my realization that it was already almost time to leave. My heart had grown for the people there and I also feared my intensity for acquiring the language would drop without the constant stimulation of hearing the conversations which had caused me to constantly desire to stretch and grow into the new world that surrounded me while there.
I made one last visit to the Ayi’s community to meet with Mengmeng and He Ying. I presented the last point of the Gospel: That Jesus was God’s son who loved us so much that came to earth to give us eternal life if we believed in him (John 3:16 paraphrased). He Ying who looked to Mengmeng as an older sister excitedly raised her hand, saying she was willing to receive Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior. Mengmeng in her quiet and hesitant manner was unable to agree. He Ying, a little taken aback by Mengmeng’s hesitancy to believe, glanced at her sadly, then continued to grin and look at me, bouncing up and down on her seat. After winding down our conversation He Ying asked if she could speak to me in her “house.” Moved by her polite but bold etiquette, I followed her into the unit next door. She looked at me in a concerned way and asked, “how can I see you in the future?” I said, “do you have email?” She said no, she had no computer or internet connection. “Do you have a phone?” She said no. “Do you have an address for me to write you letters?” Again the answer was no. I shrugged, unable to think of any other option. “I’ll visit you in the future,” I promised. I would somehow have to make it back to this place.
Weather predictions showed it was supposed to rain heavily during my last stretch and I did in fact wake at 5am to a thunderstorm on my second to the last day. I was thinking how glad I was that I had run the previous afternoon in case it was too rainy to go today. At 7am the rain lightened up and seeing my opportunity to run the land on what could be my final time, I got dressed. Then it poured again. While I love running in light rain, I don’t at all like running in heavy rain or wind, and I had an unpleasant image of getting my shoes soaked in puddles. I changed back to my pajamas but surprisingly found myself very sad that I had to miss this window of opportunity. Listening on my iPod to Psalm 79 which spoke about the Lord’s provision, I was moved to ask Him to provide a clear path for me from the rain and puddles. While doing so I by faith changed back into my running clothes. Then as I stepped out of the building, the miracle happened. The Lord held back the rain completely for 40 minutes, and provided a path so that I did not have to step into any puddles or get my shoes soaked. As I ran I prayed for the nation of China, the government and the people I’ve met.
Back at Brian’s home I saw the unused laptop I had brought from the States, lying in the closet. I felt like I wanted to give it to He Ying in order to keep in touch. I needed a new computer anyway. After erasing most of my files though, I got stuck on letting go of some files which I was not so willing to delete because it was my only copy. In the end I decided this was too much of a rush job to try and erase everything, not to mention not being able to delete my passwords.
On my last morning in Shanghai, the weather report again showed it was supposed to rain heavily all day but like yesterday, I prayed for the Lord to make a way for me. And so I again by faith set out to run at 6am. It was a nice 50 degree cloudy morning. The streets were clear since it was a Saturday and I listened to the audio reading of the Gospel of Matthew chapters 6-13. While running I came across a small take out sushi container left on the street. The Lord called my attention to it as I ran past it, and I quickly decided it would cost me very little to stop and ask what he was calling me to do with it. He said to pick it up and throw it away so I put it into a nearby trash can. It was a minor inconvenience but in doing so, God connected me to caring for his land, in the same way he asked me to cleanse the land in Lancaster, California a few months ago.
After running about 3 miles, I found the urge to run on the road that I had initially walked on when going to the subway from Brian’s house with Ayi, Meng Meng and Anna. I had since dropped that route to take a preferred less developed road to the subway. I would have to extend my run a mile past what I intended in order to cover this stretch but in doing so I found my prayers intensified for the land and the people. The Matthew passages I had been listening to seemed to match the desires of my heart for this land. I asked if He would give me the opportunity to come back and take further spiritual possession over the land. The physical sensation of oil rushed back over my head and poured over me for the rest of the run, and my sense was of His assurance that he would indeed bring me back again and again.
Before I left, I told Rebecca about my conflicted feelings toward not being able to give my computer to He Ying. Rebecca said that a few years ago Mengmeng was in the same boat, but now she has a computer set up because of Huang Ayi. She said that each family has to make good decisions and figure out how to make the transition from the simple and poor rural life of the country side into the more demanding city life. She encouraged me to not feel bad about the situation, but to encourage He Ying to develop her skills and learn to buy her own things. Her reasoning put me at ease and I thought at least for the moment, that this was good advice.
I went home to Ayi who encouraged me to rest for a few hours before having to take my flight back to the US. I said I had just a little packing and mostly wanted to sit and chat. She shared that her housing community would be torn down at some point because the land in Shanghai is valuable and the owners are losing money with such uses of land. She threw out bigger vocabulary words which I had to look up, but since I was now able to understand most of the other easier words, I did not have to look up things quite so often. I said I would pray for her and that housing situation. She had also shared with me that she came to Shanghai by herself to take a housekeeping job when Mengmeng was only two years of age. She was here for four years before her husband and children were able to join her. She said back home in the countryside they owned a house which had many more rooms than the little one she lives in now, but the wood broke so now they only own the foundation, and so they found the motivation to move to the city to pursue a bigger dream.
I realized that what she did as a housekeeper, she did proudly because it is what she does well, and she made a way for herself and her family by doing what she does, very competently. During a pause in our conversation I gave her a tract I picked up from the government church, sharing the gospel in Chinese. She started to read it. I said, “神爱我，我爱你， 神爱你。” (God loves me, I love you, God loves you). She nodded but didn’t look at me for very long. She was engrossed in the tract. I wrote on my Google translator, “please consider that there is a God.” She nodded and kept reading. I sat with her as she read until Anna came to pick me up to take me to the airport.
This is the poignant picture I leave with. A very meaningful day concluding my first trip to China after 30 years.
