March 15 2018
Let me introduce Susan to you. Susan has been my Mandarin teacher for the past 2 years, initially sharing with me her genius test-taking skills, helping me pass my HSK 5 (Chinese standardized) test. We became fast friends through our love for language, people, and adventure.
Susan comes from a very poor farming village, the kind I visit in the back country of Yangshuo. Even though she is part of the “new generation” who was born after China opened to the west in 1979, most of her classmates still stopped going to school after the 8th grade to help their parents farm the land and make anywhere from $6-$16/day or as much as $25 a day working in the local shops as a salaried worker. As a poor farming village girl, Susan was destined to do the same, but because she was always the smartest in her class, she qualified for the top high school in her area, and one of her teachers argued with her parents on her behalf to let her attend and even offered to cover her living costs. Then against all odds Susan went on to college, after which time she found a love for English (which she was already good at), and teaching Chinese to foreigners.
Susan’s fun, goofy, outgoing, and caring personality made her my “go-to” resource whenever I needed translation help when working with the poor and elderly who only speak the local language. During the past year, she was increasingly available to help me share the gospel and pray with the local people and we booked several trips together with John to travel to the back country to bring food, supplies, and the message of God’s love to the extremely poor and under-resourced.
Over my November trip, she accepted my invitation to accompany me to an orphanage on a very long and rough trip to Yangchun in the south of China, but that she could finally wholeheartedly give her heart to following J.
During one of our life and faith discussions, a lightning bolt idea from the L zapped both of us. Because she is the only college graduate in her extended family of 16, everyone relies on her to send money in order to buy anything substantial. Although her parents, who are not much older than I am, are very capable, they are still illiterate and live on a $6-$20/day (low farming season/high farming season variable) budget.
Why don’t they learn a new skill?” I asked.
That seemed like a new thought to her. In her mind they would always be farmers.
“No one will teach them.”
“Why don’t you teach them?” 你那么能干，为什么你不教他们呢？
(lightbulb) “I never thought of that. That’s a really good idea!”
The next day was spent in excitement of this new thought.
Ron Tanaka had said something that she didn’t take seriously but that I remember clearly: “Susan could change an entire region.”
Susan said, “you know, this could change the entire village if they knew how to speak Mandarin and read some simple characters or use a computer.”
Since Assignments International is all about consulting, training and empowering businesses, organizations, and individuals who are working to bring about change and self-sustainability in situations of poverty and loss, it became easy to see how God had once again dropped our assignment into our lap.
We sent Susan off back to China last Saturday but I am really excited to walk with her through this potentially big venture of educating her parents and their village.
SPRING CHINA 2018: March 29
It would be an easy trip, I thought. These days going to China always seems much easier than in the earlier days when I had a bare minimum grasp of the language and knowledge of the land I was going to. In addition, Davee my colleague from Assignments Int’l who generally has a very adaptable attitude and fun laid back style would be joining me, and I was sure he would add a relaxing element to my sometimes stressful trips.
I was jolted out of this thinking when I first thought I left my cell phone in the taxi, and when shortly after that I discovered my purse with every important document, bank card and loose cash was not with me. After half an hour of desperately and tiredly looking everywhere, I found both in hidden places within my room. I made a mental note that I was becoming easily distracted and careless with extremely important objects.
The challenges continued.
A month ago I had been notified that because of changes in airline routing, our plane flight would leave from another airport in Shanghai and not the one I was used to flying out of. When we got to the other airport with quite enough time we found the flight had already closed 40 minutes before take off, and we would have to stand in another line to change our ticket. I knew there were no other flights to Guilin from this airport on this day, but nevertheless defeatedly submitted to the ticket agent’s commanding voice that I stand in another line besides hers. After 10 minutes of waiting, I was told I had been in the wrong line, and the next line I had to stand in was extremely slow and also full of people who desperately and rather successfully tried to cut in front of me. Rather than concentrating on blocking out the line-cutters with his body like I was, Davee chose a more helpful line of questioning, asking me what plan B was going to be, given our options. Thankful for his getting my thinking back on track, I chose to re-route us through Guangzhou, a city I have always tried to avoid, but now the only choice that could get us to our destination without staying in Shanghai another night.
After standing in another long line, our the agent helping us again said we had arrived at the front of the line too late to board our flight. I raised my voice in English and said, “What?! No! I just came from there!” The agent encouraged me to push myself to the front of the line if I was running late, and sent me through the same process to change our tickets one more time. I grabbed the receipt she gave me, ran across the airport floor, and aggressively approached an agent at the desk. “I NEED a new ticket! This is my 3rd time today!” “Sorry, quick, take this,” he responded. I grabbed the new receipt, and rushed Davee to the shortest line. The 4 suitcases we had been lugging around, mostly full of gifts was already wearing me down, and I unthinkingly sent 3 suitcases through check in when I should have sent 2. “You’ll have to stand in another line to pay for this third suitcase,” the agent said.
We came across a few other Westerners who had the same frustrating experience that morning and realized something was in the air. Davee said, “I had a feeling I was supposed to go to Guangzhou.” I called Susan, John and Melissa who knew Guangzhou well and coached us through what to do, thus decreasing my anxiety.
The re-routing would add another 10 hours to the journey, but in the midst of this Davee led us through some declarations over the land in this untreaded territory, and over the Guangzhou train station where thousands of people rushed across the open floor. Afterwards I felt a peace fall over us. “Do you feel that?” he said. Without asking what he meant, I said, ‘Yes, I do.”
Tired, dirty, and longing for a bed, we arrived at one of my favorite little towns in the world. John who had been keeping tabs on us all day was ready to pick us up from another train station much further out and much later than anticipated. Seeing his familiar smile and smelling the moist air that embedded the vast green hat shaped hilly landscape made my soul breathe a deep sigh of a relief. I felt like I was coming home.
April 3, 2018
Back Country
Our first full day in Yangshuo was Easter morning and we had a sweet reunion with Susan when John brought her and her good friend Blue to go out to the country to see the kids we have been supporting.
The bathroom we built now had a working shower was working and John brought a closet and some beds for them to lie on at night. With the donations we were able to bring food and pay for school tuition.
Davee shared about Mona Warren’s kindergarten class raising support to help other kids like them who have less material and parental resources. Each of the kids chose someone from Mona’s class photo and selected a picture they drew. They in turn drew pictures to send to Mona’s class.
Davee blessed father of the man who left his wife, who had come to their home seeking help after a recent operation.
The eldest girl Si Tian who is growing in stature and grace moved to the junior high school this school year comes back every weekend. She had an English name (Lucy) that she wasn’t sure fit her. Susan asked me to help her select a new one. After interviewing her extensively, I presented 4 for her to choose from, even though only one name kept standing out in my head
(Cherish). After giving her 3 more choices and describing their meanings, (Phoebe, Deborah, Rebekah), she chose Cherish.
John introduced us to new unit of three sibling orphans who, because both parents have been gone for 3 years, are raised by their only grandmother, a 65 year old woman who relies on physical labor to eke out a living. She has lived with a malformed foot for most of her life, hobbling on her heel all day in the fields.
We were very impressed by the way the 4 year old boy who despite having no money to go to pre-school, responded to us and sat to chat with us to entertain us.
We believe He is highlighting this boy and grandmother to AI and would like to support them.
John took it upon himself to buy chickens, ducks and rabbits for the back yard. It was a very good idea.
ELDERLY IMPROVING
The home for the elderly in Yangshuo seems to have stabilized. There were familiar faces, as well as new tenants.
Discerning Our Assignments
April 11, 2018
“Are you sure this was our assignment?” asked Davee.
“Maybe not,” I sheepishly admitted after spending all afternoon with a prickly couple whose toes I ended up stepping on. In the end my shoulders were tense with pressure and Davee though always lighthearted, had given up a rare free afternoon to roam the new land we were in.
HOW DO WE DISCERN AN ASSIGNMENT?
“There is usually a level of receptivity when I discern an assignment, which I didn’t sense on the first day we met them,” said Davee.
“I suppose I felt some receptivity but when I saw that it wasn’t flowing for you, I felt responsible to make a way for you, thus I felt it was my assignment to make the second appointment and try harder,” I said. That was where my sense of responsibility overrode everything. Then I admitted, “I guess I didn’t think about what would happen past that point.”
On this trip to China, I brought Davee my founding partner of Assignments International to help press into already broken in territory. I had in mind that he would cause strongholds to break open in a wider scale with the joy and big personality he carries. However, we had been traveling and working together for ten days and because of our differing styles and schedules, found it convenient to follow our own tendencies without much consultation. He is an extrovert, I am an introvert. He is a late night person, I am an early morning person. He talks with many people in a short time, I concentrate on one person and take my time.
Although we are both very adaptable to the situations at hand, on this trip there were no shortages of situations to be adapted to. Thus, I found myself opting for the easiest solution: splitting up.
We maximized our individual gifts and seemed to multiply our effectiveness. Yet the times that demanded we act as a team lacked flow and I was filled with inner conflict.
“Why don’t you help me to connect to dad,” Davee suggested one morning, yielding to me in order to bring us into unity.
“OK!” I caught on to his strategy immediately and likewise yielded to him. The time before Him transformed our attitudes, and quickly set us free to operate in agreement with each other and with dad throughout the day.
Now we had come full circle to another place of differing opinions and styles and I found myself challenging my partner and his views again.
“We needed time in the spirit,” he said, not even trying to convince me on a thinking level, which could be a hang up for me.
This was one of many lessons I would learn from my brother by rubbing shoulders with him on this trip. It was true. Time in the spirit is what gives us a top-down perspective that gets us past our limited capacity to think and relate. From these times, we delight in instead of fight each other.
Davee went home after 11 whirlwind days leaving me with a deeper understanding of how I am to fulfill my assignment during the rest of my days here.
Mentoring
I have been joined by another traveling partner on the latter half of my trip. “Sarah” is someone I met 2 years ago, completely new to the company, she has chosen the road less traveled, always yielding to Him when the stakes are high. The problem is, all around the occasional high staked decisions, are a fields littered with a lot of undiscerned small decisions that lead to loss and a feeling of lostness.
It was my hope that by having her join me on this leg, we could get a productive rhythm in her 24 year old life, and meanwhile partner in bringing joy and hope to people.
“I don’t understand how I got here and why I have to do this.” I had invited Sarah to travel with me for my remaining two and a half weeks in China and she began to question if she made a good decision joining me. I had been walking with her off and on for 2 years after she had given her life to Him in the Spring of 2016. She tended to cry out to me in helplessness often over the past year out from seemingly avoidable situations, but was always wanting me to help her connect back to Dad, which is what I so appreciated in her. When we sat in silence over Skype video calls, sometimes she could connect quickly to him, sometimes not at all. But she always was willing to admit her faults and come back to Him, which is why I felt wiling to invite her into my comfortable private living and thinking space and otherwise much-valued free schedule that allows me to write and receive from Him in different ways while here.
The Assignment
At first I was just hoping to enjoy a companion at a friendship level and help my young friend see life through another lens. I quickly found some big maturity gaps which were there not only due to our 26 year age difference, but also due to a lack of alignment in goals, daily preferences, and behaviors. The differences began to grate on me, and I began to tense up. I could either regret inviting her to live in such close quarters, push her away emotionally and sulk in the loss of my personal space, which I could be using to accomplish other more palatable assignments, OR accept that this person, whom I feared would sap my energy for the next few weeks was indeed my assignment and the reason Dad would bless and cause us both to come into a new kind of victory.
Weighing the potential consequences, I chose to walk in the latter. Dad began to drop his daily bread giving me the ability to love out of His lens and heart, and the strategy to loose strongholds instead of attacking behavior at the surface. I recalled a model from a mentor Arthur Burk that involved 3 legs of identity, but I couldn’t quite recall the terminology he used. Asking Him for wisdom I dug up whatever my memory would allow and sketched my own semblance of it.
The model I adopted and called my own was what I would call and explain as a model for maturity and intimacy, and it had 3 legs: identity, belonging, and competence. Someone who has a high sense of identity instinctively knows they are important and loved and takes their orders from above, not constantly pulled in the direction of pleasing others. Someone with a high sense of belonging instinctively feels they are capable of being included in a crowd and chooses to bond rather than carve out sub-teams and take sides. They also instinctively help others feel like they belong in a group. Someone with a high sense of competence can effectively problem-solve by taking their given skill set and the confidence in their own ability to learn a new skill, then reach in an outward direction, adapt to the new challenge, and help others achieve victory in new situations.
As I unpacked these concepts with my young friend every morning in our scheduled time with Him, there would be resistance.
I would always stop but draw an approprate boundary for the space I felt I needed. “That’s all the time I can spend with you today.”
This was followed by a cycle of sadness…neediness…and trying to find ways to please me or get into my good graces so my attention could be pulled toward her during the rest of the day.
Five days of pushing and pulling, not without frank talks about what was unhelpful and what brought energy drain. The result was a surprising daily leap toward maturity and understanding toward each other.
“I don’t understand how I got here and why I have to do this,” she said on the sixth morning when I urged her to reach out and make a difference in the community instead of constantly processing deep thoughts all day long in the hotel room.
“On a human level, we also have to live together so I am spelling out to you how to be a friend to me,” I admitted. “It is always a struggle for me not to act out of my own judgements, lenses, and preferences when preparing to tell you something, but he always seems to override my thoughts with His heart for you and I cannot help to love you and pull for you every day when we get together before Him. I really think the next step for you is putting theory into practice. You have to get out there to test these theoretical scenarios on how to relate to other people, so you can actually grow and thus help us to relate on a higher level.”
Within an hour she was seeking out places to volunteer in our surrounding community. Sarah has always had a soft heart for Him.
I have also experienced such growth in myself and my ability to mentor and walk alongside people, a role I have fumbled around in over the past few decades.
I am particularly grateful for the rewards it brings to allow myself to be known and love others more deeply in the process.
PARTNERSHIPS
The little boy that stood before me acted differently than what I would expect from a four year old. Upon my second visit to this house on this trip, the little boy we named “Paul” seemed to carry a self-esteem and focus that allowed him to stand before an adult foreigner in an unflinching yet interactive way. I had brought Susan again to help me introduce the Son’s name and a new song with Paul and his grandmother. They were receptive. We shared pictures from Mona’s class in Diamond Bar and asked Paul if he wanted to draw a picture to share with his new friends in the photo they had sent. He was willing. Susan helped him get started and he carefully colored within the lines. Although Paul had no parents, and no money to go to preschool, he showed a strong ability to learn and be still and follow instructions as well an obvious love and respect for his only grandmother who is raising him.
Paul and another ten year old girl Cherish and their respective parent-less family units who John has identified as being extremely poor yet having an exceptional quality, have been the ones who we have been visiting and sharing with over the year, and the ones who have made an imprint on Susan’s heart.
It has been a joyous partnership to have Susan whose roots from within the underprivileged farming culture and whose love is for children pave the way for us to share His love and message with them in a local language that is just theirs. “That was a successful day,” I said gratefully to the other American and Chinese who had joined us on the trip to observe what we do in the back country.
Meeting Susan’s family and seeing her village on this trip helped me to understand the large gap that stood between a poor underprivileged little girl, a younger brother who by virtue of his gender was deemed the more important, and the fast developing world that unfolded before her. Her challenge would be to learn the necessary skills to lead the family out of poverty in spite of her undervalued status as an unmarried young woman. Her advantage was having the ability to excel as the only one in the extended family to get a college education, and her hope would be the One she put her new found faith in.
She would have to let herself fall into His arms to accomplish her mandate. Would she be able to let go completely in order to let Him guide her? We talked more about her desire and plan to educate her mother in pinyin (Romanized Mandarin) so she can type on a computer and start a business. The vision is that within ten years the village will be transformed.
JOHN
John who also came out of the same underprivileged environment, because of AI’s investment in the two clothing stores, is seeing profit and is now able to give his four year old daughter a kindergarten education, give the children we support food and clothing throughout the year, return our investment, and buy a scooter which I can now use whenever I come to town. John who has now been working with orphans for almost 20 years has found more creative ways of helping parent-less family units develop sustainable income, like the 3 rabbits, chickens and ducks he bought a few months ago for Paul and his grandmother and two sisters, that now have turned into almost 30 animals. I saw a new sense of strength emitting from this guy I am growing in real respect for. I have come to know John as one who delivers the goods, (in more ways than one), with a pure-hearted impossible-to-be-angered joy of the Father.
YUE
Yue charmed the socks off the friends in Yangshuo and received invitations to return to live and work there. Because she consistently puts him first, her growth in the spirit seems to move in leaps forward. Despite so many complements and invitations and her complete liking for this place, and in spite of my assumption she would move here as soon as she could, Yue characteristically wanted to bring all of it before Dad for inspection. As we talked to him together, she noted that nothing popped out, but instead another city popped into her head. We will talk to Dad more in coming weeks and months to see what he has for her.
MY LAST NIGHT IN YANGSHUO
“Chinese people feel one of the most pathetic things in the world is to eat hotpot alone,” Susan once told me upon a suggestion she do that to get some food while waiting for me. I saw her point. Not the best scenario. Yet here I was on my last night in Yangshuo, sitting outdoors at a restaurant and eating a bowl of rice noodles and a plate of custard buns, alone. I did not feel lonely. I felt fulfilled and thankful. The past month had consisted of very little time by myself, and I had given up precious personal space without regret. I will enjoy the next 24 hours without company, yet never alone.